What’s your Favorite Lame Lyric? Comment below…

Over on my FaceBook music page, I called for lame lyric nominations. I was thinking about poor Rebecca Black (whose song “Friday” is a huge YouTube phenomenon) and how embarrassed she’ll be when she someday learns what good songwriting is. See, she’s a kid – so she can be forgiven for lines like “tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards” (don’t you love how great art contains these little epiphanies?) or “fun, fun, fun, fun” (brilliant stuff, that!).

Again, she’s a kid, so I don’t expect her lyrics to have the heft of Bob Dylan. But it’s fair to expect adults in pop music to be able to write coherent, intelligent songs, don’t you think?

So here are a few lyrics that fans and friends offered as examples of “lame”:

  • Lori: “That’s easy. “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away…..” Please, it’s not really a Christmas song.”
  • Chris: “Bad news on the doorstep / I couldn’t take one more step”. On the long lists of offenses perpetrated in American Pie.
  • How about: “Someone left the cake out in the rain/I don’t think that I can take it/’Cause it took so long to bake it/And I’ll never have that recipe again…”
  • Connor: “Partyin’ Partyin’ Yeah!” (that’s Rebecca Black again!)
  • Mike: “You can’t rollerskate in a buffalo herd…”
  • Jesse: “They saw…birthmarks all over her body. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.”
  • Kim: “I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates, you’ve got a brand new key.”
  • Brad: “Don’t mess with my toot toot”
  • ‎”I break the yolks and make a smiley face…”
  • Shane:”Although I hardly listen to Christian music anymore…and this is one of the main reasons: “obedience is neat”…FFH, Big Fish.”
  • Joel: “The Pill” – Loretta Lynn!
  • Robb: “Scott, the lyrics to “Electric Avenue”…”
  • Chris: “There’s nothin’ that a hundred men on Mars could ever do…” [Scott’s note: it’s actually “hundred men or MORE”, so that may or my not change your opinion of “Africa” by Toto…]

I’d love to see your nomination for the Lame Lyric Award – please comment below!

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  1. Jason says:

    anything with “baby” a quintillion times (thanks, Dave Barnes)

  2. Scott Riggan says:

    More from my FaceBook page:
    – Brad: “Sir I wanna buy these shoes… for my mama please… uggghhh gag”
    – Kelli: ‎”Do you really want to hurt me?” not
    – Monica: “I walk right through the do-or. Walk right through the door”
    – Andrew: “Champagne Super Nova” is fairly stupid. “Let me go out like a blister in the sun” is pretty stupid. “purple rain” Actually just about anything by prince has a a pretty high stupid factor.
    – Andrew: ‎”devils haircut in my mind”
    – Andrew: the entire song tutti fruiti
    – Russ: “how about ….”in my studio”???? lol”
    – Monica: “Suck it in suck it in suck it in/If you’re Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn” Actually, I love this song. It’s so PC it’s killing me.”
    – Scott: “And there’s always “Baby I’m-a want you”

  3. Scott Riggan says:

    And still more from the FaceBook page:
    – Samuel: “Have to submit ‘Hey Baby’ by Stefani (truly sad because she actually started out in a decent band) and ‘Into the Great Wide Open’ by Tom Petty: ‘He went to Hollywood, got a tattoo/He met a girl out there with a tattoo too’ and ‘The papers said Ed always played from the heart/He got an agent and a roadie named Bart’…Such forced rhyme causes brain damage!
    – Carl: “I agree with “A horse with no name”, in particular the rendition from the move Air America.”
    – Mary: “Suzanne Vega – “do do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do do.” So lame it’s “lamazing.”
    – Tom: “Willow Smith – “I whip my hair back and forth. I whip my hair back and forth. I whip my hair back and forth . . .”

  4. Scott Riggan says:

    More suggestions from the FaceBook page:
    – Jennifer: “I just can’t choose–there are so many!”
    – Miriam: “and there’s always the ever popular … “Muskrat Suzi, muskrat Sam / do the jitterbug in muskrat Land”. I’m ashamed to say that I know the words to that one! (I’m old!)
    – Chase: “MacArthur Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet green icing flowing down. Someone left the cake out in the rain”
    – Jeff: “‎”It can’t be wrong When it feels so right ” – Debbie Boone, You Light Up My Life

  5. Scott Riggan says:

    “I am, I said / To no one there / And no one heard at all / Not even the chair” [Apparently Mr. Diamond was disappointed that the chair was a poor listener]

  6. Stan the man says:

    Beyonce is always eloquent: “I could have another you in a minute, matter fact he’ll be here in a minute.”

  7. Lorraine says:

    How about America’s “Horse with no Name”: “There were plants and birds, and rocks and things.” Yeah, that’s good writing, right there.

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